No one wants to be considered selfish because it a "bad" quality. But, everyone is selfish. Even there I bet you are protesting saying, "I'm not." But, there you go. Making it about you. How often do we wait and wait until we can inject something about number one, ourselves? I think that is why listening is so hard. We have to stop thinking about ourselves and listen to someone's life.
Now don't get me wrong I am as selfish as much as the next person. It is part of human nature. I think the important thing is taking control of it or let is consume our relationships in our lives. By taking control, one has to work at being caring and unselfish daily. One can do it by active listening and putting me second.
Even this blog was really about me.. and the whole time you were thinking about when you could relate to it, right?
I invite you in notice how often you interject "I" pronouns in conversation...
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Disappointed in the Site
Posting this here as well. I feel it was written well and diplomatically. But, also I know they could delete it because it looks down on the site. I don't want to lose it. So, here it is.
Recently, I wrote a blog. Big surprise, right? In the blog, I got a comment that accused me of being judgmental. IF it was by a friend that reads my blogs regularly, and actually knew ME and not assumed things about me, maybe I could have taken it more to heart. But, it wasn't.
This wasn't the only time this has happened with my blogs. I know I am not alone, either, unfortunately!
With these comments, I have considered each time making my page not public. Ironically, this most recent time a different member from the other one left me a comment about how I inspire them. If I privatized my page, how would I be able to inspire others? For me, I like that I can inspire others to succeed just because I was in their shoes once.
In addition to limiting my ability to inspire others, I have thought about not blogging anymore and/or leaving the site, honestly. But, than, I knew I would miss my friends too much.
There is no easy solution. I know this. I just miss the "old" site I met 3 years ago where every comment was supportive and I never worried about being judged here. I guess that is what I liked about Sparkpeople the most... no judgements, just acceptance!
Now years ago, it seems I am no longer accepted here just because I have succeeded and live a healthy lifestyle. In fact, I feel like just because I am fit and healthy now that I am more under a magnifying glass, instead of a spot light, like before. It is almost assumed that I could not understand how if feels to be judged on just my appearance.
Really, now?! Can't I?
Recently, I wrote a blog. Big surprise, right? In the blog, I got a comment that accused me of being judgmental. IF it was by a friend that reads my blogs regularly, and actually knew ME and not assumed things about me, maybe I could have taken it more to heart. But, it wasn't.
This wasn't the only time this has happened with my blogs. I know I am not alone, either, unfortunately!
With these comments, I have considered each time making my page not public. Ironically, this most recent time a different member from the other one left me a comment about how I inspire them. If I privatized my page, how would I be able to inspire others? For me, I like that I can inspire others to succeed just because I was in their shoes once.
In addition to limiting my ability to inspire others, I have thought about not blogging anymore and/or leaving the site, honestly. But, than, I knew I would miss my friends too much.
There is no easy solution. I know this. I just miss the "old" site I met 3 years ago where every comment was supportive and I never worried about being judged here. I guess that is what I liked about Sparkpeople the most... no judgements, just acceptance!
Now years ago, it seems I am no longer accepted here just because I have succeeded and live a healthy lifestyle. In fact, I feel like just because I am fit and healthy now that I am more under a magnifying glass, instead of a spot light, like before. It is almost assumed that I could not understand how if feels to be judged on just my appearance.
Really, now?! Can't I?
Friday, September 9, 2011
Expert? Ha!
I have part of a weight loss website for more than three years. When I was having a bad day, it was my happy place.
In the last year, things have really become something else. The positive energy is less and less. I feel they don't take bullying seriously and listen to the victim fairly.
In fact, there is a popular member that constantly had to edit her blogs. But, why? Aren't blogs supposed to be about sharing our own personal thoughts with the public? When did it become "okay" to tell someone what to think? Seriously? In my mind, you are just be naive, at the very least.
Besides that, the staff seem to think they are the only experts. Why can't we, the members, be experts as well? It just takes education.
This is my situation.
I am on a team with one of the coaches, and posted stuff that dealt with the topic. The said "Coach" than makes me look stupid and feel down about me. But, here's the thing. I am smart. I am an Exercise Science major. I have loss 100 pounds in weight. I may not have years of nursing experience behind me, but I DO know a thing or two.
Okay. Okay. Let's calm down. Here is what happened today.
I posted this:
"Some of you may remember that about three weeks ago, I thought I was overtraining. It didn't go away even with rest. I went to the doctor, got tested and found I have normal levels for thyroid and blood. Since that appointment, I started taking a multivitamin. After about 5 days, I started to feel better. I am convinced I had sports anemia.
I am telling you this to remind everyone that carbs and protein is not the only thing us runners need to watch. Endurance runners can become anemic when they deplete their iron storage. If you are eating enough protein, you probably have enough iron.. but you also need to be taking in Vitamin C for the iron to be absorbed. For more information, google sports anemia."
It was supposed to be a friendly reminder to make sure they get their iron in, and MAYBE take a multivitamin.
"Coach" replied with:
"While some runners may experience sports anemia, it is not a common amongst many runners, especially those with low mileage and who are not menstruating. Unless you have been tested for anemia, please DO NOT take an iron supplement without medical supervision as having too much iron in your system can be very toxic to the liver."
Okay, first this is a half marathon team. They don't exactly run low miles. It is an ENDURANCE sport, for Pete's sake! Secondly, I never reccommend taking an iron supplement. Nope. I suggested eating more iron, and maybe taking in more Vitamin C. I never said to take a supplement! Thirdly, I would hope to God if one was to suspect this, they would go to the DOCTOR. I never said I was a doctor. Just that it is something they should be aware of!
Okay, deep breath. Trying to let it go!
After her response, another member responded with this:
"Coach. I could not have said it better myself. THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE, but giving iron to someone who has not been proven to be iron deficient (not all anemias are iron related) is very uncommon. Most of us will get our iron we need from natural sources....
@ Savannah 'I am convinced I had sports anemia.' anemia has a definition and corresponding lab results - no matter how convinced you are :-)"
Okay, now I am just mad. Coach is not God. Hell, she has a nursing degree. In fact, once I graduate, my degree, Exercise Science, will have more credibity than her nursing degree. Now, don't get me wrong. Nursing is great but don't you dare trying to make ME sound stupid! Again, I mentioned from natural resources.. not a supplement! Grr!!!
And as for the comment directed towards me..
This lady does not know me and I personally feel they missed something. It happens with doctors. There are many reasons they could have missed it. Once I started taking multivitamins, it went away.
Letting it go...
I guess I am sick and tired of members acting like the coaches are god. They aren't. Hell, if they went into the field, they aren't even considered experts!
I feel like I cannot speak on the team so I might leave. I have already left the team once. More and more, I have been playing with leaving the team. It is just easier to communicate w/ some of my friends there. Maybe if I blog here more, I will.
In the last year, things have really become something else. The positive energy is less and less. I feel they don't take bullying seriously and listen to the victim fairly.
In fact, there is a popular member that constantly had to edit her blogs. But, why? Aren't blogs supposed to be about sharing our own personal thoughts with the public? When did it become "okay" to tell someone what to think? Seriously? In my mind, you are just be naive, at the very least.
Besides that, the staff seem to think they are the only experts. Why can't we, the members, be experts as well? It just takes education.
This is my situation.
I am on a team with one of the coaches, and posted stuff that dealt with the topic. The said "Coach" than makes me look stupid and feel down about me. But, here's the thing. I am smart. I am an Exercise Science major. I have loss 100 pounds in weight. I may not have years of nursing experience behind me, but I DO know a thing or two.
Okay. Okay. Let's calm down. Here is what happened today.
I posted this:
"Some of you may remember that about three weeks ago, I thought I was overtraining. It didn't go away even with rest. I went to the doctor, got tested and found I have normal levels for thyroid and blood. Since that appointment, I started taking a multivitamin. After about 5 days, I started to feel better. I am convinced I had sports anemia.
I am telling you this to remind everyone that carbs and protein is not the only thing us runners need to watch. Endurance runners can become anemic when they deplete their iron storage. If you are eating enough protein, you probably have enough iron.. but you also need to be taking in Vitamin C for the iron to be absorbed. For more information, google sports anemia."
It was supposed to be a friendly reminder to make sure they get their iron in, and MAYBE take a multivitamin.
"Coach" replied with:
"While some runners may experience sports anemia, it is not a common amongst many runners, especially those with low mileage and who are not menstruating. Unless you have been tested for anemia, please DO NOT take an iron supplement without medical supervision as having too much iron in your system can be very toxic to the liver."
Okay, first this is a half marathon team. They don't exactly run low miles. It is an ENDURANCE sport, for Pete's sake! Secondly, I never reccommend taking an iron supplement. Nope. I suggested eating more iron, and maybe taking in more Vitamin C. I never said to take a supplement! Thirdly, I would hope to God if one was to suspect this, they would go to the DOCTOR. I never said I was a doctor. Just that it is something they should be aware of!
Okay, deep breath. Trying to let it go!
After her response, another member responded with this:
"Coach. I could not have said it better myself. THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE, but giving iron to someone who has not been proven to be iron deficient (not all anemias are iron related) is very uncommon. Most of us will get our iron we need from natural sources....
@ Savannah 'I am convinced I had sports anemia.' anemia has a definition and corresponding lab results - no matter how convinced you are :-)"
Okay, now I am just mad. Coach is not God. Hell, she has a nursing degree. In fact, once I graduate, my degree, Exercise Science, will have more credibity than her nursing degree. Now, don't get me wrong. Nursing is great but don't you dare trying to make ME sound stupid! Again, I mentioned from natural resources.. not a supplement! Grr!!!
And as for the comment directed towards me..
This lady does not know me and I personally feel they missed something. It happens with doctors. There are many reasons they could have missed it. Once I started taking multivitamins, it went away.
Letting it go...
I guess I am sick and tired of members acting like the coaches are god. They aren't. Hell, if they went into the field, they aren't even considered experts!
I feel like I cannot speak on the team so I might leave. I have already left the team once. More and more, I have been playing with leaving the team. It is just easier to communicate w/ some of my friends there. Maybe if I blog here more, I will.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Well, when are you going to hand in the excuses for some determination?
That's it! I am sick of the excuses. The excuses people give for why they cannot lose weight. Well, guess what? You can. But, it is YOUR choice. You choose to stay how you are. Unhappy and unhealthy. I no longer want to hear the whiney excuses. Either do something about it or go away.
Okay, here's the thing.
I have a friend with MS. She's always sick. But, not because of MS. Her stomach is upset all the time. But, if I ate foods that basically only consist of fat and sodium, my stomach would be too.
She has seen I have lost a considerable amount of weight and she wants it, too. But, like everyone else, she doesn't want to work for it. Instead it's easier to criticize me and try to pressure me to not be healthy. Well, too bad. This is who I am. Now. I am a -crazy-healthy-eating-running-woman! Deal with it.
Ironically, she says she wants to lose weight but doesn't have time or whatever. She also says she has no time to go to counseling.
Well, friend, if you don't have time NOW, when will you? Things aren't going to get any less busy than they are in college. There will be weddings, kids, families to take care of. So, tell me, WHEN are you going to start taking care of you?! It is your responsibility! No one else's!
As time goes on, I think I need to move on from this friendship. When we are together I feel like she is insulting me. She calls me weird which would not be so bad IF she didn't use it to insult like anyone that she doesn't understand their actions. She does it alot in discussion of running. Besides this, she is always judging me on like everything. It hurts/offends every time and not sure how to tell her this.
Than, she does this whiney-OMG-I'm-sorry face. She does it only when she says no to a request of mine. Fucking-a! Stop. Be yourself. If you don't want to do it, whatever. But, just quit being so flipping whiney in a don't-hurt-me-I'll-do-anything-for-you-as-long-as-you-are-still-my-friend way. Stand up for YOU.
Well, fuck!
Okay, here's the thing.
I have a friend with MS. She's always sick. But, not because of MS. Her stomach is upset all the time. But, if I ate foods that basically only consist of fat and sodium, my stomach would be too.
She has seen I have lost a considerable amount of weight and she wants it, too. But, like everyone else, she doesn't want to work for it. Instead it's easier to criticize me and try to pressure me to not be healthy. Well, too bad. This is who I am. Now. I am a -crazy-healthy-eating-running-woman! Deal with it.
Ironically, she says she wants to lose weight but doesn't have time or whatever. She also says she has no time to go to counseling.
Well, friend, if you don't have time NOW, when will you? Things aren't going to get any less busy than they are in college. There will be weddings, kids, families to take care of. So, tell me, WHEN are you going to start taking care of you?! It is your responsibility! No one else's!
As time goes on, I think I need to move on from this friendship. When we are together I feel like she is insulting me. She calls me weird which would not be so bad IF she didn't use it to insult like anyone that she doesn't understand their actions. She does it alot in discussion of running. Besides this, she is always judging me on like everything. It hurts/offends every time and not sure how to tell her this.
Than, she does this whiney-OMG-I'm-sorry face. She does it only when she says no to a request of mine. Fucking-a! Stop. Be yourself. If you don't want to do it, whatever. But, just quit being so flipping whiney in a don't-hurt-me-I'll-do-anything-for-you-as-long-as-you-are-still-my-friend way. Stand up for YOU.
Well, fuck!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Are you my best friend? Yup!
I really enjoy blogging. It helps me sort out my thoughts in a safe environment. In cyber space, I do not have to worry about some friend telling another friend and it getting back to someone else. Don't get me wrong I am not gossiping. Sometimes you just need to vent or share something exciting without worrying about it.
In other words, I guess I use blogging as my own perfect best friend.
So, here you will hear about my struggles in weight loss, friendships, and other life trials!
In other words, I guess I use blogging as my own perfect best friend.
So, here you will hear about my struggles in weight loss, friendships, and other life trials!
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